


it’s not fine anymore

by ihadtothinkaboutdis1



Category: Baseball RPF, Washington Nationals RPF
Genre: I added the game because I was there, I don’t do writing, M/M, Trea’s Kinda depressedTM, im sorry, is this one sided? idk, pining!trea, sorry for the forced game, this is cringey as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-03 03:08:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17275949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihadtothinkaboutdis1/pseuds/ihadtothinkaboutdis1
Summary: Trea’s Sad





	it’s not fine anymore

Trea looked down. His thoughts, it seemed, were eating him alive. The Nationals were his life. He loved baseball. He would die if that ever changed. But obviously there wasn't a happy ending. What you wish for isn't always what you get. Because the world was filled with cold, dream crushing realities. He was thankful for his position on the Nationals. How could he not be? But the world doesn't know that much about Trea Vance Turner. They only knew him as the good Nats player that has some (what seems like kid-runned) social media accounts. He's a shy guy. Everyone had told him he can't be extroverted, he's a 25 year old good looking kid, the media could make him worse without even trying.  
But why isn't there a happy ending in Trea Turner's mind? That's a good question. Well... that's not really easy to answer. Let's start of simple. He's married. Why is that bad? He loves Kristen, kind of. They're great friends. But there's a cover Trea has on when they turn into a couple. He doesn't really love her. Like what married couples should. But Trea will keep his cover on, if it's going to hide his secret. At least one of his two. Trea has two giant secrets, both nobody knows, except himself. The secrets suck, but Trea know he deserves them. He believes in fate. He always has.  
Back to Kristen. Trea was in love with her. He was for a long time. There's a reason he decided to marry her. But things change, and dream-crushing realities hit, so his happy marriage isn't really happy anymore. But she hasn't ever doubted their happy marriage, so Trea is fine. For now. But soon Trea's secret can't hide anymore. So we're taken to the clubhouse at Nationals Park on July 8, 2018. Turner had a bad game. Well, everyone did. EXCEPT REYNOLDS. EXCEPT REYNOLDS. The ending score was 10-2. The Marlins won. And something got to his head after that game, something that Trea was holding back ever since he started playing with the Nats. Am I not good enough? It was a question many players knew familiarly, but not Turner. And once the question came, it never left. His two secrets were killing him alive, same with the question and his thoughts. It had to be over soon, Trea knew it. And then there were tears. Because Trea didn't know the answer to the dreaded question: Am I not good enough? His mind was saying no, he wasn't good enough. He wanted to think he was but the depression, and the nervousness pushed on the no, and said "shut up, of course you aren't." His second secret. The depression . Trea had some sort of a depression disorder ever since his first secret happened. He couldn't actually say he had it, as no one paid attention to it, but overall it was just a lack of attention and a stupid Trea that caused this depression to go unnoticed for so long. The sadness and emptiness of depression was gnawing at him, begging him to feel like the worst human being ever, at least that's what it felt like. And so there was Turner, crying softly after an unsuccessful game. But it wasn't really the game. It was the secrets. The depression biting at him, stress piling up, like a balloon about to burst. And the first secret laid there, quietly. Damaging Trea so much, without any attention. A silent killer. Since when did secrets become killers? Since Trea Turner was in love with Anthony Rendon.


End file.
